The House Guest
by Koyasu
Summary: Yoji's mother is visiting - and making him miserable.
1. Default Chapter

"What the-?" Omi rubbed his eyes, cautiously   
curious at what he saw.   
  
"It's the spoils from our last mission", Ken   
grunted, never loosening his grip as he and   
Yoji played tug-of-war with a medium-sized   
cardboard box.  
  
"The sex club?!", Omi asked, with a hint of   
disgust.  
  
"Hai! And Yoji won't share!"  
  
"What use would YOU have for these?", Yoji   
asked through gritted teeth.  
  
"Ask Aya", Ken grinned wickedly.  
  
"I'd rather not."  
  
"Uh...bye!" Omi awkwardly excused himself, and   
left to join Aya in the living room.  
  
"Did you see-?"  
  
Aya nodded, never looking up from his   
book. "Vultures", he sniffed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Aya", Ken whispered, getting into bed beside   
the sleeping redhead. "I got the goods."  
  
"Mm" Aya turned over.  
  
"Yoji was no match for me", he added with a   
self-satisfied grin. "You wanna play?"  
  
"No", Aya replied sleepily, yet firmly.   
  
"Come on! Now that you're up, maybe we could   
just-?"  
  
"Damn it, Ken", Aya grumbled. "Shut the hell up   
and let me go back to sleep."  
  
Ken sighed. "All that work for nothing", he   
thought, disappointed. "I guess I can try again   
tomorrow night."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~   
Yoji crawled into bed beside Omi's sleeping   
form, trying hard not to wake the younger man.   
  
He was unsuccessful.  
  
"Yoji..."  
  
"Gomen." Yoji leaned over, kissing Omi on the   
forehead. "Go back to sleep."  
  
Now fully awake, Omi turned over, resting his   
cheek in the palm of his hand.  
  
"Who won?", he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Yoji cleared his throat. "Nani?"  
  
"You know...don't make me say it."  
  
"Oh, that." Yoji looked away, embarrassed. "Ken   
did. By default."  
  
"'Default'? What do you mean?"  
  
"Ken reminded me that we'll be having company   
soon", Yoji explained. "And that it may not be   
in my best interest to have those items on my   
person."  
  
"Oh! Of course!" Omi sat up, slapping his palm   
to his forehead. "How could I forget? Your   
mother is coming to visit, isn't she?"  
  
"Don't remind me", Yoji groaned, pulling the   
blanket up over his head.  
  
Omi covered his mouth, stifling a laugh. In all   
the time that he had known Yoji, after all of   
the potentially deadly situations they had been   
in together, this was the first time that Yoji   
looked afraid. 


	2. chapter two

"Ken...Ken?...HEY, KEN!!!"  
  
Ken looked up with a start. "Yeah?"  
  
"Would you please move those pots out of my   
path?", Yoji asked, tapping his foot   
impatiently.  
  
"Um, sure", Ken said absently.  
  
"Geez! What is with you today, Hidaka?", Yoji   
shook his head. "You've been in a daze all day."  
  
Ken looked away sheepishly. It was true. He had   
been distracted. Distracted by a certain   
redhead. Try as he might to concentrate on   
work, Ken's eyes inevitably fell upon Aya's   
sweet, tight ass. Ken's member ached, longing   
to plunge itself into that work of art. He   
wanted to whip Aya into submission. He wanted   
to play. He wanted to-"  
  
"KEN!"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"The pots?", Yoji reminded him, irritated.  
  
"G-gomen."  
  
As Ken lifted up a pot, moving it to an empty   
table, a troublesome thought entered his mind.   
Yoji's mother was coming. And Aya was   
surprisingly (disturbingly) loud when Ken made   
love to him.   
Ken sighed, picking up another pot of   
flowers. "I wonder if Aya would agree to be   
gagged."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Where is my little puppy dog?!"  
  
Ken, Aya and Omi turned their gaze to a tall,   
blond woman standing at the entrance to the   
shop. She was dressed in a stylish black pant   
suit, black pumps, and a black beret. An   
attractive older woman, despite the heavy   
lipstick and eye makeup painted on her face.  
  
"Your 'puppy dog'?", Omi asked, while Ken   
snickered softly.  
  
"Yes." The woman walked up to the three young   
men. "My little Yoji-poo!"  
  
"Oh. He's over there, hiding behind that   
plant", Ken informed her, casually pointing.  
  
Yoji shot Ken a look as the woman tackled him,   
smothering him with kisses, until he was   
wearing almost as much lipstick as she was.   
  
"Oh, son! It's so good to see you!"  
  
"Uh, yeah, mom." Yoji looked over at   
Aya. "Isn't it time to close up now?"  
  
"Yes. I suppose it is", Aya nodded, barely   
supressing his amusement. "Omi, would you lock   
up, please?"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
"I'm sorry", the women apologized, after Omi   
had closed shop. "I forgot to introduce myself.   
I am Kudou Nami. Yoji's mother."  
  
  
"Yeah, we kind of figured", Ken   
laughed. "Hajimemashite. I'm Ken, this is Yoji,   
and that stunning redhead over there is Aya."  
  
"Aya?" Mrs. Kudou tilted her head   
slightly. "You must be very comfortable in   
your masculinity to go by that name!"  
  
"What masculinity?", Yoji chuckled. Aya simply   
glared.  
  
"Now", mama Kudou turned to Yoji, grabbing him   
by the collar to prevent him from running   
away. "How about you buy us all a nice dinner?"  
  
"I don't remember offering to pay", Yoji   
grumbled, looking at his shoes.  
  
"Dinner sounds great!", Omi cheered. "I haven't   
eaten since breakfast."  
  
"You all go ahead", Aya waved them off. "I have   
to stay and balance the books."  
  
"We'll be sure and bring you something home",   
Omi promised, as they all walked out of the   
shop.   
  
Ken glanced sorrowfully over his shoulder. He   
would miss Aya's companionship at dinner. But   
maybe it would be good to give his hormones a   
rest, even if it WAS only for an hour or two.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
Aya took a seat at his desk in the back office,   
put on some reading glasses, and went over the   
day's earnings. "Let's see...Today, we sold   
four of-mmph!"  
  
Aya's eyes widened as he felt a hand over his   
mouth. Slowly attempting to turn his head, it   
was abruptly whipped forward.  
  
"Don't move!", a voice ordered roughly.   
  
Aya ignored the order, feebly attempting to   
squirm away.  
  
"I said..."   
  
A needle sunk into Aya's shoulder, rendering   
him unconscious.  
  
"Don't move." 


	3. chapter three

Aya forced his eyes open, his world slowly   
coming into focus. His right cheek was kissing   
the hard, cement floor. He couldn't quite feel   
his limbs yet, but something seemed amiss.  
  
"You're finally awake."  
  
Aya's eyes widened. "That's right!", he   
thought. "I was attacked!"  
  
"You...", Aya groaned, attempting to stand. No   
good. His hands were tied behind his back and   
his feet chained together.  
  
"What the hell do you want from me?!", Aya   
demanded.  
  
"Take it easy! We've got a long night ahead of   
us!"  
  
That voice! Aya thought hard. He knew that   
voice. Knew it well. But it was hard to make   
sense of anything with the pounding in his head.  
  
Gentle arms pulled Aya up into a warm lap. It   
was...  
  
"Ken?", Aya blinked.  
  
Ken just sat there with a shit-eating grin on   
his face.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?!", Aya spat,   
trying to wiggle out of Ken's embrace.  
  
"I have no excuse, Ken confessed, tightening   
his hold on the redhead. "I was horny."  
  
"Mmm. Well, there is a time and a place for   
everything, and-"  
  
"Must you always be so calculating?, Ken   
interrupted. "At the rate things are going, by   
the time you're 'in the mood', Yoji's mother   
will have gone home, and I might have to fight   
him for the winnings again!"  
  
"Selfish!", Aya glared angrily. "I have work   
that needs to get done. Yet you expect me to   
put everything on hold to satisfy your desires."  
  
"Tomorrow is Sunday. We're closed. I'll do the   
books then", Ken promised. Walking over to the   
desk, he used his lover's body to clear it.   
  
Aya gasped, as papers went flying.  
  
"Relax", Ken whispered, laying Aya down on his   
stomach. "It all fell in a neat little pile.   
I'll be able to find everything."  
  
Before Aya had a chance to respond, Ken lifted   
his head up, bent down, and gave him a deep,   
wet, passionate kiss.   
  
Aya sighed in surrender. He had tried holding   
on to his anger. But, deep down, he knew they   
shared mutual desires. Ken was simply less shy   
about expressing them.  
  
"Good. You're finally relaxing", Ken   
smiled. "Just let me take care of you tonight."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"I hope Ken's headache gets better", Mrs. Kudou   
said with concern. "It's a shame that he and   
Aya couldn't share in this lovely meal."  
  
Yoji said nothing, scraping the frosting from   
his cake with a finger, and sticking it in his   
mouth.  
  
"Yoji!", his mother scolded. "That's   
disgusting! Honestly!" She turned to Omi. "He's   
been doing that since he was little. You'd   
think he'd outgrow such a habit by now."  
  
"Mmhmm", Omi nodded. He didn't open his mouth   
for fear of laughing.  
  
"Yoji." Mrs. Kudou took her napkin, wiping her   
son's mouth with it. "Stop eating for a minute.   
I brought you a present."  
  
"Oh. Ah, arigato." Yoji reached out his hand to   
accept the box his mother had handed him.   
  
Opening the box, Yoji's face turned pale. Then,   
much to everyone's surprise, he screamed like a girl. 


	4. chapter four

Yes, there has been an unforgivably long gap between chapters. I'm   
sorry about that, and I hope that you haven't lost interest in the   
story as a result. Between getting married being pregnant, I guess   
I've gotten a little sidetracked. But here it is: chapter four.   
  
Oh! One more thing before we continue. I have a new Weiss Kreuz page   
that I made with my friend Isa. It still has everything you loved   
about the old one, though (and maybe some things you'll like even   
better). For fan's of my WK sitcom, you'll find a brand new episode.   
You can find the page at: http://wksluts.dk3.com  
  
We also have a group you can join through the site. For the love of   
yaoi, please do! We don't have very many members now, but it is our   
goal to have the smuttiest, most graphic discussion of the WK   
character and seiyuu. ^_____^  
  
Okay, enough of my shameless self promotion. Here's chapter four.  
  
~Koyasu   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Don't you like your present?", Mrs. Kudou   
asked, the hurt apparent in her voice. "I made   
it for you myself."  
  
"H-hai. I love it!", Yoji reassured his   
mother. "I'm just so -ah- touched that you   
would do this for me."  
  
"Let me see!", Omi said excitedly, craning his   
head to get a better angle.  
  
"NO!" Yoji clutched the box to his chest as if   
his life depended on it. "I mean, um, let me   
model it for you at home", he added hastily, so   
as to spare his mother's feelings.   
  
"Oh, don't take away from the moment, Yoji-  
kun", Omi said with that sexy pout of his. The   
one Yoji could never resist, despite his best   
efforts. "Try it on now!"  
  
"No", Yoji answered firmly. He wasn't going to   
give in. Not this time. Those big, sad blue   
eyes would not weave their usual, seductive   
magic."  
  
"Pleeeeease!", Omi whined adorably.  
  
"Fine. Sure. Whatever", Yoji sighed, standing   
up and taking the box with him into the men's   
room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"KEN!!!", Aya wailed, caught up in the ecstacy   
of the moment.  
  
Ken cringed. After making love on the desk   
proved too uncomfortable for Aya, he had moved   
them to the garden patch behind the Koneko no   
Sumu Ie. It was softer, gentler, but...  
  
"This was a mistake",Ken thought. "Damn! Aya is   
a loud uke!"  
  
"Quiet!", Ken ordered, muffling Aya. "You'll   
wake the entire city!"  
  
Aya nodded, and Ken removed his hand, once   
again inserting himself into the redhead.  
  
"AHHHH!!! KEN!!!"  
  
"Have you no shame?", Ken asked, annoyed.  
  
"Gomen", Aya blushed. It just feels so-"   
  
Ken shook his head. "Everyone thinks you're the   
quiet one." Standing up, Ken walked away,   
leaving Aya, still bound from earlier, lying in   
the dirt.  
  
"Ken! Don't you DARE leave me, Ken!", Aya spat,   
hurt and angry.  
  
"Relax", Ken sighed, wishing Aya would shut the   
hell up for a moment. " I just got an idea. I'll be back   
before you know it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Omi, are you and my son sleeping together?"  
  
Omi nearly choked on his tea. "N-nani?!"  
  
"Not much gets past me", Mrs. Kudou explained with a smile.   
  
"Hai. Yoji and I are lovers", Omi confessed, blushing.  
  
"I knew it!", Mrs. Kudou exclaimed proudly. "And, of course, any   
fool can see that Aya is Ken's woman."  
  
"Kudou-san..."  
  
"Daijobu", Mrs. Kudou smiled, slightly amused at the young man's   
embarrasment. "I have no problem with it. You're all just in love.   
It's not like you going around stealing, or, worse yet, killing   
people."  
  
"Um, yeah...", Omi fidgeted, hoping desperately that Yoji would   
return. A moment later...  
  
"Oh, Yoji! Don't you look handsome!", his mother cooed.  
  
Omi turned to look, and was nearly brought to tears by what he saw.   
Tears of laughter, that is. He put his head down on the table,   
holding his breath, and waited for the fit of giggles he felt coming   
on to pass. It was no use. Finally snapping from the strain of not   
laughing at Yoji or his mother for an entire evening, he laughed.   
Loudly, shamelessly. Then, he passed out. 


	5. chapter five

Koyasu: Oh, happy day! The fifth and final chapter of this here ficcie is finally ready for your reading pleasure.  
  
Yoji: Nobody cares anymore, Koyasu-chan.  
  
Koyasu: *pouts* They didn't care before. If you haven't noticed, the reviews aren't exactly pouring in.  
  
Yoji: That because everyone is pissed at you for what you're doing to me in this fic. *frowns*  
  
Koyasu: *bats eyes innocently* Whatever do you mean? I only pick on the characters I really love. *purrs, rubbing a hand on Yoji's ass*  
  
*Omi glares at Koyasu*  
  
Yoji: *nosebleeds* Honto ni?  
  
Ken: *falls over laughing* Yoji, you horny baka! Can't you tell when you're being teased? She's married, remember?  
  
*Omi sighs, relieved*  
  
Yoji: *fidgets* Well...  
  
Ken: Anyway, I think the story is brilliant, Koyasu-chan!  
  
Koyasu: See? *sticks out tongue at Yoji* At least Ken apprechiates my work.  
  
Yoji: That's only because he got to make Aya squeal like a pig.  
  
*Ken grins; Aya nuzzles his face into Ken's neck, cooing like a baby*  
  
Koyasu and Omi: Aww...  
  
Koyasu: *grins* Now what was I gonna say? Oh yeah! Enjoy the rest of the story, and please don't forget to review.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mrs. Kudou gave Yoji a look out of the corner of her eye. "Your boyfriend has issues."   
  
"H-how" did you know he...it's your fault, you know!" Yoji spat out at his mother. "You've totally ruined the way he sees me; treating me like a child, and making me wear this ridiculous outfit!  
  
Yoji's mother put her hand to her mouth, the pain evident in her eyes. "Y-you hate it that much?"  
  
"I do! The shirt is this lame old lady print, and the pants are baggy enough to be mistaken for a long skirt!" Yoji emphasized his statement by tugging at said pants. "You sure you didn't make this outfit for yourself, then change your mind and give it to me?"  
  
"I can't believe what I'm hearing!", Mrs. Kudou exclaimed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.   
  
"Oh, mom, I'm sorry! Don't-"  
  
"Ha! Gotcha!" Mrs. Kudou shot her head up, an enormous grin plastered across her face. "That outfit WAS mine! I was just playing around."  
  
For a minute, Yoji just stood there; fists cletched. "You are one sick woman!" he finally said through gritted teeth. He lifted Omi up into his arms, carrying him out of the restaurant.  
  
"Yoji? Yoji! Wait!", his mother called after him. "What about the bill?"  
  
"You owe me!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Still there", Ken laughed, returning to his bound, nude lover.  
  
Aya rolled his eyes. "Where the hell did you go?"  
  
"Just to get a couple things to hush you up", Ken replied, getting down and straddling Aya from behind.  
  
"What did-mmph!!!" Aya let out a muffled scream as Ken shoved a mouthful of oasis* in. Eyes watering, he continued making noises while Ken secured the oasis by closing Aya's mouth with a generous amount of packing tape.  
  
"I know, it tastes like crap, right?"  
  
Aya nodded, thrashing about.  
  
"But you like it rough, don't you, love? You like the pain with the passion", Ken purred, gently stroking Aya's thigh. It eventually did the trick. Aya nestled into the soft soil, once again allowing Ken entrance.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yoji! Yooojiiii!" Mrs. Kudou called. "Wait for me! How dare you-"  
  
Yoji stopped. "How dare I what? How dare I stand up to you? How dare I try and salvage what is left of my dignity? You know, there's a reason I left home right out of high school. I can only take so much of you, woman!"  
  
Mrs. Kudou stood shocked for several moments; hands on her hips, jaw dropped.   
  
"Look, mom. You can mope, or you can come home with us tonight. But no more of your sick jokes. Got it?"  
  
Throwing her hands up into the air, Mrs. Kudou sighed defeatedly."Fine. You win! Son, you have no sense of humor whatsoever."  
  
"Oh, I have a sense of humor. It's just not quite as sadistic as yours is."  
  
Omi laughed sleepily.  
  
"So you've come to." Yoji looked down at the young man in his arms."Hey! What was that laugh about?"  
  
Wow! You're slow on the uptake", Omi laughed again. "All I'm saying is the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."  
  
"That's hitting below the belt", Yoji chuckled, setting Omi down so they could walk side by side.  
  
"Nah...there's other things I like to do below your belt", Omi grinned, winking at Yoji. "Oh, crap! I forgot my bookbag at the shop!"  
  
"No worries. We'll just pick it up on our way. That okay with you, mom?" he called back to his mother.  
  
"Yeah, fine."  
  
"Oh, don't pout, mom. It's not my fault your jokes aren't funny."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I hate you."  
  
Aya was standing with his head under the faucet of the sink at the back of the shop, trying to wash the foul taste of oasis out of his mouth.  
  
Ken put his hands behind his head, walking casually away. "Really? Then I won't stick it in anymore."  
  
Suddenly, Aya looked worried. "No! I mean, um...I just hate the oasis is all."  
  
"Duly noted", Ken laughed, holding Aya's hair back as he continued to drink. He loved that he was the only one who saw the quiet redhead for who he really was, and was able to give him the love his body so greatly craved. "Now, let's get dressed and head out of here, okay?"  
  
*  
  
"Oh, no!"  
  
"What is it, Yoji-kun?", Omi asked as they stopped in front of the flower shop.  
  
"You hear that?" Yoji paused. "Someone is in there."  
  
"Maybe it's your friend", Mrs. Kudou suggested.   
  
Yoji shook his head. "Aya would have left by now." Another pause. "It sounds like there's a struggle of some kind going on in there!"  
  
*  
  
"I though we were - UGH!!! - going home", Aya panted as Ken made love to him in the back room.  
  
"We were. But your ass is so delicious, I just wanted more." Ken grunted, plunging himself into Aya.  
  
"OH!!! KEN!!! You-"  
  
"And what is this all about?"  
  
Yoji stood in the doorway with his mother and Omi close behind. His arms were crossed, his amusement barely contained. 'This is too good!', he thought. It's good to know I don't take the prize for most humiliating moment of the evening.'  
  
"Ken and Aya looked up at Yoji for a moment, like deers caught in the headlights. Then, they burst into a fit of laughter.  
  
"Damn it, Yoji!", Ken managed to get out between laughs. "You totally ruined the mood with that get-up of yours. Made me lose my boner!"  
  
Yoji's face flushed. He looked to Aya, hoping for some kind of an embarrassed glare from the redhead. But even Aya couldn't help himself. He was laughing so hard, he couldn't stand. Ken had to lift him onto his feet, which proved difficult considering he could barely keep his balance.  
  
"Come on, lover", Ken chuckled. "I think it's time to get dressed."  
  
"Hai", Aya giggled as the two men walked to the back office where they had left their clothes.  
  
"I give up", Yoji grumbled, walking out.  
  
"You need to visit more often, Kudou-san", Omi giggled to Yoji's mother after he was out of earshot.  
  
"Count on it, she nodded, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. "This was well worth the trip."  
  
  
*the foamy stuff used to hold together flower arrangments  
Author's note: Wondering what possessed me to write this? It's based it on a poster I have of the Weiss boys. My imagination does strange things when I have too much free time. :-p 


End file.
